it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
