I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
