the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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