No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Terrible idea I love it
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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