under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
