Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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