i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i think i have herpe
just one?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
