Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
