Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
third nipple confirmed
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
