I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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