i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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