I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
