Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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