Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
