im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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