is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
