Me. At least after what I've been through.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
