Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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