I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
