I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
