We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
