You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
