I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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