Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
