i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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