i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
