the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
