Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
