so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
