So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
its not stalking. its research.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Randomize
