Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
