Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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