There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
