ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
