meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
