P.S. I can't hear my feet
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
