my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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