he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
