I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
