I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
she was so not down for the gang bang
do herpes really smell.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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