I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
