And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
