The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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