dude i'm inner monologue high
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
