apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
