If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
