Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
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