is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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