I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
