im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
