btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
